I’m in a rut – Help!!

For the last couple of days I have been beating myself about the head with a proverbial stick. I have been berating myself for not achieving as much as I would have liked to.

You would be forgiven for thinking that because I am a coach, a yogini and a entrepreneur enabler that I am also a 'Mary Poppins' of sorts and practically perfect in every way. The reality could not be further from the truth - the idea that I don't mess up, procrastinate, worry or ignore all of my own wisdom is almost funny! The truth is I am just as human as you. The truth is that the reason I am drawn to and LOVE the work that I do is because I NEED and USE all of those tools and practices I proffer to my clients. The things I suggest and offer are the tools and practices that over the years have been immeasurably useful and have rocked my world.

The reality though,  is that I DO NOT use them all the time. The reality is that I forget to, too. When I don't get coached, practice yoga, eat clean, sleep regularly, make time for the things I care about and prioritise to my personal set of values; things fall apart.

In the falling apart I still learn. Through the cracks comes the light. No matter how far I have come, there will always be lessons in 'falling apart' and each time it happens I notice that my lowest low now was once my highest high place. The best thing about things falling apart is the forced space created to reflect, and the rediscovering of all the magical resources I have at my fingertips!! Sometimes I still revert to old habits of pushing pushing pushing until I burnout. More often than before I push myself with kindness. I have learned that saying NO to something is saying YES to something else.

In this last week of discomfort I have learned to appreciate the impact & benefits of coaching, of masterminding, of journaling, of affirmations, of yoga, of driving my car fast and listening to Haim.... (Thank you to my Coach, my peers, my pretty journal, my gorgeous yoga teacher and to Haim)

So there you have it, I am awesome AND I am human.....

Here are my top 5 things to do when you have gotten yourself into a rut.

1. Breathe
Go some place quiet. In nature if the weather allows. Bring your attention to your breath, notice your inhalation and your exhalation. Breathe in and out through your nose; your mouth closed but relaxed. Make your inhale and your exhale equal in duration, smooth and easy in consistency. As you bring attention to your breath it naturally slows, relaxing you, calming you. Notice this calm. Think of the sound and pace of of waves lapping against the sea shore. Notice that as you breath in your belly rises and as you exhale it falls. What else do you notice? As you concentrate on the rhythm of your breathing have your thoughts slowed too? What do you need? Remember that space creates space. Time spent thinking will give you clarity and make your actions clear, concise and inspired.  Stay here and just focus on being; concentrate on your breath until you are ready to do something.

2. Journal
Get a notebook that is just for your thoughts. Make yourself a cup of tea, or glass of water and find somewhere comfortable to sit, pick your favourite pen. Take your phone and set a timer for 2 minutes and and write. Free flowing, thoughts. Fill the page with everything that is in your head. Don't edit, don't justify, don't do this for anyone else to read and just write everything that comes.
Empty your mind chatter onto the page. For two full minutes just write everything that comes.
When the timer goes, read through the words you have written. What is the underlying theme here? What is important right now? What one thing do you want to do that will provide a quick win and change how you are feeling? Notice how emptying your mind out onto the page has provided some clarity about what is really going on for you! Who can help? What first step can you take to move one step closer to feeling more content about this issue?

3. Get clear on why
On a clean sheet of paper write the one thing that you want most right now. This can be general or really specific.
Maybe it's I want more money.
Underneath write "why?"
Then underneath that answer your own question.
for example; Because I want to buy nice things.
Then underneath your answer write "because" and then write the answer underneath that;
I want to be surrounded by beautiful things that remind me of the beauty in the world.
Because?
Beautiful things make me feel good about myself
Because?
Deep down I know that I am beautiful and having these things around will remind me of that when I am not feeling it.
Because
When I am feeling good about myself, I am creative, and passionate and purposeful.
Because
When I am passionate and purposeful, I help others feel this way too.

Keep going until you are really clear on what you want and why you want it. Doing this will help you focus on what is important to you right now. [Tweet "why you want something defines the essence of what you want"]
Getting clear on your motivation creates power and energy and with that energy comes inspiration, with that inspiration comes a desire to DO something and what to do will suddenly come to you. (You have all the answers to all your questions. You really do know what the next best thing to do for you, right now is. Trust yourself.)

4. Get creative.
Lets get real. Sometimes the reason we are in a rut is that we have created a scenario in our mind that has gotten overwhelming. The truth is that there will of course be barriers and obstacles. There will be limitations and restrictions. There is a reason you feel the way you do; the route or path you would like to take is for whatever reason not available to you. AND, you are a resourceful, creative individual. You can think outside the your usual way of doing things and come up with another way. An alternative.
What have you already tried? Of those things that were successful, even for a short time, what exactly did you do? In what ways? When? How? What were you thinking at the time? What kept you going? What do you think made it work? What was the key? For those things that were not successful (short or long term) identify at what point they stopped working. What happened? What do you think might have contributed to the set back? What was the first thing that triggered the set back? On reflection what might have made the biggest difference and made you successful?
Think back to a time you have been in a similar situation, what did you do then? What worked? What didn't work? Why didn't it work? What can you learn from that? How can you use the resources you do have? Who else might have been in this situation before? How can they help you?
Take a moment, look closely at the obstacle you are facing... what exactly is it about this obstacle is getting in the way? Move away from generalisations; how much time? how much money?
What skills, strengths, resources have you got from other areas of your life that you can use here?
Make a list of your options - what COULD you do?

5. Do one thing
The trick is not to jump five steps ahead, but to do that one next thing. The one inspired action that creates momentum. The very notion of the domino effect or butterfly effect is that when you do that one small thing, there is a change in energy, something moves, things will develop and then the next piece will present itself to you. Just focus on that one next step. What one thing can you do now. Look at the list of options you made. Pick one thing. Just one. Decide when you are going to do it, be exact. Be realistic, pick something you can do that will provide a quick win. Go on.  Go do it.

I would love to hear from you if you have any sure fire things that work for you when you are stuck in a rut!

On purpose, with purpose,

Ebonie

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